christmas day

we went to the manila memorial to visit mama then met tita gi at burgoo, rockwell. it wasn't really a fabulous christmas for me. first of all, my dad took a wrong turn on the highway and my mom was pretty pissed off about that. in addition to that, after dropping off the gift at magallanes for my ninang, my dad didn't take the skyway and we got stuck in traffic. that just caused more pain for us because my mom became super pissed off already.

 

at burgoo, rockwell, things started to become a bit more shaky. my mom was talking about my sister once more and it ignited something in her. she said some things that are hurtful not only about my sister but about me, too.  she was speaking generally. she said something like kids nowadays wouldn't care about their parents anymore once they grow up already. this was actually pretty hurtful because all my life, all that i did was done to please her but somehow, it seems to me as though she can't be pleased at all.

 

anyhow, i still kept my cool and went along with everything not saying a word so that i wouldn't piss her off even more. here's our pic in burgoo.

 

 

by the time we were at starbucks, i really, really felt awful already. she was saying all of these mean things already that i really felt soo helpless and alone. i felt as though i'd have to bear with this for a really, really long time alone because my sister is somewhere out there having the grandest time of her life. i really feel like life is soo unfair. why is that even if you do everything to please your parents they still see something wrong in what you're doing?  sometimes, i wish i was just one of those bitchy kids who can answer back their parents.

 

anyway, last night, i was crying in my room because i overheard the stuff that my mom was telling my grandma over the phone. right now, they're on the same side. before, she used to say some things about my grandma about how superficial they are. well, right now, she's one superficial person, too.  i just really wish that things would actually turn out really well for me, for us actually. i'd really hate for things to not work out.

 

today's a special non-working holiday. woohoo for me! but honestly, i would have rather gone to work than be stuck at home with my mom and my parents. good thing that the company christmas party will start at 12 midnight and i'm not required to go.  for once in my life, after soo many months, i'd actually have peace and quiet in my very own home. sounds weird? well, not to me. ever since my sister left, it was all about chaos in my life. i'd kill for a night away from home, away from everything mind-boggling.

 

this is probably why i treasure my gym time soo much. my me time. my time away from everyone and everything that's worth bitching about. hay. why did god create life to be soo stressful?  and every single year, life becomes more and more stressful. i wonder... how would our life be like when we reach the age of our parents?  i'd probably never reach that point in my life. i'd probably be dead even before i reach that age... kiddin.