I really dont know when or how this will all end. I'm thinking, is it menopause? If it's just that well, it's bound to end 5 years from now, right? By that time, I'll be 28 years old. My God. Old. Hopefully, by that time I'm out of the house already. I actually can't stand it anymore. But I can't just pack my bags and leave. Not like how my sister did it. Come to think of it, I think things got worse when my sister left. I guess they're really more affected by it compared to what they say.
What are my course of actions? Well, hopefully, I'll be earning soo much money that would make me be stable enough to move out of the house. But then, it's the same thing as what my sister did. Wish they'd allow me. But then knowing them - they won't. I wish my job would entail me to travel more so that I'm out of the house often. That's just synonymous to saying I want to move to ADSI. But then if I move to ADSI, I'll probably be in FICO. Start all over again and be with people that I dont know all too well. I guess in the end all you can think about is which is more important to you? Not knowing the people around you or your condition at home? Hmm.. tough choice.
Another plan is to move lightyears away from home. Meaning, relocating. Looking for a job there. My only problem, how? How will I get a job there? How will I relocate? How would that be with Bert. If Bert moved abroad, I'm hoping that he'll be able to take me with him ASAP. I know that it would not be immediate but it's okay. I'd rather start a new life there. Without people getting on my case all the time.
Dreamy! A life wherein I'm the master of my actions. A life wherein I'll learn to decide what I should do. Yeah, it could be difficult but at least its my own life. Not something dictated upon me.
Geez. I sound like a prisoner. Maybe I am, in the comforts of my own home. I've changed. A LOT. My eyes are opening to reality. The reality of life. The hardships of life. But the sweetness that comes with overcoming those hardships. Come to think of it. Yeah, I have a great life but I'm not that happy. I guess we always want something more. Am I greedy? I guess so. In a way, but I long for a life that I want. If all fails, there's no one to blame but me.
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2 comments:
things are hard, and they definitely might get harder. but the good thing now, is that you know about them. and you're in a point in your life that you can and eventually will do something about it. and of course, i'll be helping you every step of the way.
thanks b
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