When it rains, it pours

I really got touched about what Bert wrote in Xanga. I thought things are mellowing down again. I was actually kind of hopeful about that. However, everytime things would seem a little better, something always has to happen. Like for instance now, my mom told me that he could go to the house already and then the starting of the car has to happen when I was in a super rush to go home.

I was in a super rush to go home because 1.) the main reason why I told my mom (actually, asked permission to my mom) if Albert could bring his car was the storm. I was thinking of going home early today. If not for those 3 criticals that opened, I would've gone home early. 2.) cause I had a critical ticket opened and I had to connect again when I get home. I am super ashamed with tim and puy cause they didn't go home because of the critical and i had to go home cause my mom and my grandmother were bugging me to go home.

Yes, I do get their point especially that it's raining and we really have to get home already but then again what they don't get is work. We are in a very different line of work. Since it's a global thing, we don't only think about what's happening in the Philippines. If it's Asia, we care about what's going on in Asia as a whole. So if the Philippines is obscure because of the f*cking typhoon, Asia doesn't care. Asia will still have to do business. Moreover, when you're in EMEA, more likely, you won't care about what's happening in Asia.

I don't get it why they can't put it also in their heads that work right now is terrible. It's not as if the only thing we do is file papers and fix stuff. We do more than that. More complex things that require us to use our dying brains and little left brain cells. The timings. Duh! Month f*cking end? It's the 30th so I guess it's closing. DUH!

I'm sorry. I'm just really mad right now. Not only at my mom for having to blame every single thing on Bert. Even the time that I go home, the critical tickets that I have. I just find it soo unfair.

I'm also a little mad at Bert. Well, maybe not mad but disappointed because of the car thing. I know that he wasn't expecting that to happen too. I don't blame him or anything. I just want things to be perfect. Clean slate. No wrinkles. But when I look back, I always see a mishap and I don't get it. I don't get how we - as a couple - can be so unfortunate. Sometimes I wonder, are these signs that we're really not meant to be together?

I really don't want to think about it. Believe me. It's the last thing that I wan't to believe in. Actually, if I do believe in that it's only tantamount to saying that my parents are right because I really don't agree with them as well. They were wrong about Bert not finding a job and they could be wrong about this too. Take Note: I used could because I'm not sure about that as well. I want myself to be right. But I have to prove it to myself as well.

Now, my heart is beating like crazy. I think it's stress. I think I'm going to die young. Good for me. At least I won't have to suffer much longer. Actually, I would prefer it if I die young. Stress from the house. Stress from work. Stress from my relationship. (c'mon, there's no stress free relationship... if someone says his/her relationship is stress-free... that's complete B*LL SH*T!)

so there, pray for me whoever reads this cause I need all the prayers I could get.